Who's afraid of the big bad wolf?
posted: Oct 31, 12:45 AM
So, let’s talk about fear. It’s been on my mind alot lately. Probably because of the type of work I’ve done and am doing.
Remember I told you I work in an inner-city school as a special ed teacher. My students have learning disabilities and behavioural challenges.
For the record, I love my students! My colleagues are a tight team. This is one of the most positive work experiences I’ve had since I made the move to teaching. You just know there is a but coming, don’t you?
Here it is…some of the kids in my school are scary. Some of them are scared. Some of them are scared and scary. That’s scary!
Tomorrow’s Hallowe’en in case the month of October got away from you! I love the whole dress up fun of Hallowe’en so I’m going to dress up as a mad surgeon. Scrubs and sneakers will make for a comfortable day on my feet. I’ve got a squishy eye (not mine!), some plastic bones, dark purple nail polish and possibly a bit of fake blood. I’m iffy on the latter tonight, though. Here’s why.
The problem arises when 200 plus adolescents, with raging emotions, unsettled hormones, lots of anxieties and worries all decide tomorrow is a day to express themselves. Hmmmm…how do you express the anger, fear, saddness, isolation, frustration…whatever it is your feeling when you’re from a community where you may not feel valued?
These are kids who carry weapons on good days. These are young people who know one of their 13 year old peers sexually assaulted a 13 year old girl —- with an audience, who stood around and watched. One of whom later asked a teacher “Why didn’t she say no?” Because she is a little girl who was totally and competely overwhelmed with the situation in which she found herself. Incidentally, she is too young for the local sexual assault agency to offer her support and the adolescent mental health department of our local children’s hospital has a wait list of over a year. Any guesses on how she’s surviving?
These “children” go to school with other children who carry guns and use them. I go to school here everyday. Am I scared? Some days I am. Some days I’m neutral.
I never sit with my back to a door. Well, that’s a habit I developed years ago. Know where the exit is and don’t get between a stressed kid and the door. Handy piece of wisdom I’m sharing here. (Tongue firmly in cheek).
Where am I going with this? I really don’t know. I think today is one of my “I’m a little scared about what tomorrow will be like” days.
You’d think Hallowe’en would be a fun day to be working in a junior high, but apparently I’m not alone in wondering what the day will bring. The principal gave us the head’s up to be prepared for a radical day tomorrow. My word, not his. So, I started thinking about some of the 5% of the school’s population who spend quality time with the principal and the v.p.. Who have their favorite day time t.v. shows for those days when school can’t manage their behaviours. I’ll bet they like Hallowe’en just as much as I do! I’m sure they are going to want to come to school to join in the fun, the “fashion show”, the whole celebration of being a kid and being in touch with your inner child day.
But what if the day becomes stressful? A student left my room today after an unplanned and unexpected visit. We had a pleasant chat, he did a little chore for me, because, nice as unexpected company can be, one doesn’t want to give the impression your Resource classroom is the “Do Drop Inn” . We parted on good terms. The building of a relationship well underway, when another adult questioned why he was leaving my room. Reasonably asked, could have been reasonably answered. But, there’s that word again “BUT” this young person decided to respond with “I kill for fun, you know.” Not cool! We responded appropriately, meaning we didn’t bite his head off. We explained there was nothing funny or amusing about a statement of this nature. He apologized. We moved on. But…it makes me think.
I’ve been threatened twice since school started. The first threat was made on the first day of school. The kid stated “You don’t want to get on the wrong side of me!” I smiled and responded with “I know the feeling.” The class started to laugh, the kid and I have a pretty good rapport. We’ve worked the kinks out. Sort of. I know it will be two steps forward and one step back.
Humour can be a good thing. The last person this kid made the same statement to is off on stress leave after allegations the kid made against the adult.
The other threat was a bit creepier. It seems to have been a one off. Big sighs of relief from me.
My point is this, when did school become so challenging? Not just for the teachers, but for the students too? Is it a symptom of our society? With schools being a micro version of the communities they serve?
What strength it must take for a child to survive in a climate of fear. Afraid to walk to the store for a candy bar, or to go to the play ground to hang with friends. Afraid to go to school because no matter how many teachers are in the hall they can’t be everywhere at once. Is it any wonder some kids give up on school?
My respect goes to the mums, the dads, and the guardians who encourage their kids to perservere and endure; who support these children as they strive towards achieving their goals and their dreams.