The sadness of life
posted: Jul 31, 01:23 AM
There have been times in my life when I have felt like I lost my center. You know, that part of you which keeps you balanced and optimistic for the future. Now is one of those times.
My mother, who is 81, fell on Saturday and broke her hip. She had surgery and is now in hospital; doing as well as can be expected. I know how lucky I, and we are, to still have her with us. She was on her own but fortunately had the presence of mind to use her security system to call the police.
One would think, at a time like this, that a family would pull together to offer support to each other and to their only living parent. I wish I lived in such a family.
Virgo, my sister who lives in the same community as our Mum, called me on Sunday night, from a setting where lots of people could hear her, to tell me of our mother’s fall and subsequent surgery. She then proceeded to yell at me on the phone, after delivering this distressing news, about events which took place 15 or more years ago. Virgo has many unresolved emotions regarding her childhood and adolescence and appears to have a love hate relationship with our mother.
When I was finally able to end the conversation I called Taurus to tell her. She was angry as she thought I had known for 24 hours and not contacted her! We sorted this fiasco out.
I managed to organize a ride to the Valley, over an hour away, (where Mum lives) for Monday and got to see my Mum. Sad and awful as this accident is, she is probably much better off in the hospital and will receive the care she so desperately needs and has not allowed me to organize. Virgo insisted to Mum the status quo was fine and I was over reacting.
One of the first things my mother told me was that Virgo and her 18 year old child, who moved in with Grandma 5 years ago as home wasn’t where the heart was, want to change the locks on the house as I have a house key. I asked Mum if she wanted the locks changed and she said “no”, but thought they would go ahead and change the locks anyway. I don’t think my mother was in any state to realize this would lock her out of her own home.
I asked, in front of my mother, to speak with the social worker. The nurse thought I was worried about discharge planning and I said I was thinking of a bit more immediate support. She asked if I’d be staying at my mother’s house and could then set up an appointment for the following day. I explained this would not be an option as I had no where local to stay and no transportation from the City to their community. My mother was listening and put in that her other daughter and a grandson intended to change the locks on the house. The nurse seemed to be putting puzzle pieces together…when she returned with the necessary number, she squeezed my shoulder. A little later another nurse, who had been very “short” with me earlier in the day approached me and apologized for her rudeness. I responded with she had nothing to apologize for, as upset as I am, she hadn’t made me cry, so she couldn’t have been rude to me. She said “No, I was and I’m very sorry.”
What was said about me on Sunday? Will I ever know? Do I really care?
At the end of the day all I want is for my mother to get better. To feel better, to learn to walk again, to do rehab in the City and for me to be able to spend time with her. I want my Mum to learn to laugh again, to play Scrabble, to get to know the Princess, to have a “normal” life.
Gemini