My emotional bank
posted: Jun 7, 02:46 PM
A recent update of mine on Twitter was “my emotional bank is empty”. At the time I thought it was, but, on Friday I discovered there is still something left in the bank.
As you may be aware I work with students ranging from 12 to 15, sometimes 16. All to often I meet people who believe young people of this age have few worries, anxieties, responsibilities, essentially nothing to worry about. Many people believe the kids’ misbehaviour is solely a result of willfulness, nastiness, a desire to stir up trouble… or some similar motivation.
Occasionally, I meet young people, who due to some issues with mental health, have little to no guilt or compunction about their actions and the consequences of those action. But, only occasionally.
More frequently, I find kids give us back what we expect. When we expect their best from them and make this clear, then their best is what we tend to receive. Their best effort, their best behavior, their best self. I didn’t begin writing this morning with this belief as my focus, but I am glad this belief has apparently become my topic.
I’m emotionally exhausted because, at this point in the year it is obvious most of my students have given all they have to give. They are tired out! They’ve behaved as appropriately as they know how for as long as they can. They’ve made their brains twist and turn, and then twist some more, in an effort to understand the words on the page and what those words require of them. They’ve sat as still as they can, they’ve complied with school and classroom expectations to the best of their ability for the better part of ten months and they are done!
This means their teachers are done! The patience necessary to deal with behavioural kids is minimal to non existent. My ability to advocate and negotiate on my students’ behalf is more critical then ever and here I am feeling depleted!
My lack of energy is a result of the need to be “all things to all people” all year and now these unrealistic expectations are taken to new heights as the administrative responsibilities and demands of my job are in high gear. Most teachers in my role stopped seeing students at the beginning of June in order to complete their administrative work and they work in less demanding schools with smaller caseloads. It is no wonder I am stressed and tired. It’s no wonder my emotional bank is almost empty.
I look at my students, however, and I know I can’t afford to give up now. I know they need me to find the emotional energy to help them get through until the 29th.
My bank received a deposit on Friday when one of my most severely learning disabled students sought me out to tell me he had achieved an eighty five percent on a test he’d “worked through” with me. By worked through I mean this: I explained what the questions were asking; I got him to explain his thoughts to me; I then asked him questions to help him clarify his ideas; I explained certain concepts which he didn’t understand and then let him answer the questions. He was so proud of his achievement and I was so proud of him!
Shortly after this student showed me his test, another student who used to come to me for math support, showed up at my door. He and I haven’t worked together for several months as I felt he was better off in the math classroom. He wanted me to know he’d got an eighty percent on his math test. I loved that he knew I’d be as happy for him as he was for himself!
My emotional bank isn’t as empty as I thought it was thanks to these two youth. I know there will be more moments which will help me to find the energy to survive the next few weeks.
Gemini