"It's Wrong to Pay for Sex"
posted: Mar 22, 05:24 PM
I responded to a post on Sex In the Public Square this morning on an upcoming debate being held by Intelligence Squared entitled “It’s Wrong to Pay for Sex”. As I stated in my post I believe this is a multi-layered issue.
I believe our society’s views on sex and sexuality are part of the issue. I also believe our society’s views on sex work are another aspect which is integral to the discussion.
There are those who would suggest sex work is about enjoying sex and choosing to earn a living doing what one enjoys, while others might suggest sex work is just that, work. I would suggest that the reality is as different as the human being who is providing the service and as long as the individual was not pressured or coerced to work as a sex worker it is a merely a job choice.
Whether it is wrong to pay for sex or not, how does one answer that simplistically? A sex worker provides a service, so, should be paid. It would be wrong to not pay for a service rendered. Alternatively, and this is only my opinion, the only reason to pay for sex is to avoid intimacy. Sex for money is impersonal, it is a “service” being offered in exchange for money.
There are many who would suggest we “all pay for sex in some way”. Again, I believe this to be simplistic and, also, cynical. I suppose these individuals are referring to the couple who may remain in a relationship because of the perceived benefits, either financial, sexual or …
Human beings are sexual beings from birth. I believe a feminist perspective should recognize this and allow both men and women to accept their sexuality and to feel neither guilt nor discomfort for being sexual. I also believe it is important to respect our partners and within this context never jeopardize their health nor their emotional well being. Once this criteria is met, I am at a loss how a phrase such as “we all pay for sex in some way” remains applicable. It makes me wonder what the individual’s experience of sex has been.
There also seems to be some “good girl/bad girl” stuff attached to whether one pays for sex. Well, let’s go with the suggestion that we’re all paying for sex in some way, does this mean we’re either the bad girl ‘cause we’re having sex or the good girl ‘cause we’re not? (Substitute boy as appropriate). If we go with my belief that we do not all pay in some way for sex, then if we’re sexual and sexually active, does this again mean we are a “bad” girl/boy? It almost becomes a circular argument, damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
I’ll be interested in how this debate evolves and the discussions which it prompts. It’s obviously a topic which will engender much discussion.
Gemini