Friendship and communication
posted: May 9, 03:12 PM
I believe friendships and the relationships which develop are probably what make us “us”. By this I mean, they influence how we interact, how we may perceive the world around us and the people within that world. I’m thinking I sound fairly philosophical here, but…
I frequently write about relationships and communication. Again, because I find both subjects interesting and, sometimes, challenging. For example, someone recently asked me for my opinion on something fairly minor and when I responded, their response was “ That’s your opinion and you’re wrong!” Um, why ask me then? Kind of shuts down any exchange of ideas. Oh, and they shook their finger at me. Makes me smile in retrospect…didn’t at the time.
I have a friend who is normally in fairly regular contact who hasn’t bothered to be in touch for weeks. I know, we’re all busy, but really, how much time and effort does it take to say “I’m thinking about you” or “how are you?” Not much. Kind of puts perspective on where you rate in their life. There was a time when I would have sent an email saying “What’s happened to you?” but we’ve known each other for awhile and I can’t help but draw the conclusion that if they wanted to be in touch, they would.
I’m not cold, I know my friend is alive and well as there are regular updates on Facebook and Twitter. So, no, they aren’t critically ill or experiencing some crisis and here I’m whining about not being a priority.
On the flip side, I’m not always good about keeping in touch with friends. I’m busy, life is busy and out of sight is definitely not out of mind…but when I am emotionally close to someone, I do keep in regular contact. I believe this is important. It insures the individual feels cared about and a part of one’s life.
I was on a professional development day yesterday and, although, I’ve got some nasty bug, actually found the day to be rewarding, both professionally and personally. The material was relevant and well presented and my colleagues took amazing care of me. One kept my coffee cup filled, another led me around making sure I didn’t wander off (cold meds make me quite entertaining), a third just was there, giving me the occasional hug when I looked particularly woebegone. It was very affirming.
I also had the good fortune to meet up with friends from a school I’d been in 5 years ago. It was wonderful to see them and catch up on their lives. Next to my current school and staff, this school had been my happiest placement.
Anyway, back to my thoughts on friendship and contact. I have my thoughts on why my particular friend is out of touch and well, there’s not much I can do about this…people need to do what works for them. One of my favorite “phrases to live by” is “the only actions we can control are our own”.
I’m pretty open about my thoughts on communication and its importance and either one hears me or not. I will continue to consider my friend a friend, that certainly won’t change, but the nature of our friendship cannot help but change. That’s just natural. And, natural or not, it makes me sad.
Gemini